Dating a single dad widower
Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.
Single-parent households, whether due to divorce, breakups or death, are more commonplace today than they were 20 years ago, according to 2013 information from the American Psychological Association.
I want to be sure that I am getting my needs met and that I’m not just a “rebound” for him. Dear Karen, One thing I know about widowers, followed by two things I know about men.
Widowers are QUICK to rebound, to a point of being unseemly.
You know what a widower’s left with when his wife dies? A man’s inability to survive without a woman is a big explanation why a widower is often a very hot ticket on the open market – he’s LOOKING to be married again. But, at a certain point, a man has to step up and give you a reasonable amount of attention and comfort.
Factor in the dearth of older men – there are literally 3 times more single women over the age of 65 – and, well, a decent looking widower doesn’t stay available for very long. And if he fails, he risks losing the woman he cares about.
If the widower you’re dating has one or more of the red flags below, don’t take it to mean that the relationship is doomed or that that issues can’t be resolved.
But this is the norm for widowers –for one of two reasons: either the marriage itself wasn’t that healthy and he was immediately ready to move on, OR, like men of a certain age, he put everything had into his marriage and nothing into any other relationships. As such, you are presumably the first woman he’s been with for many years.
So when a woman survives her husband, she’s got a circle of friends from the neighborhood, from work, from her card game, from her book club, from her salsa classes. Regardless, he dictates the terms of the relationship based on HIS needs and schedule. To his credit, he’s taking things slow, to avoid diving into another serious relationship that he may end up regretting.
Trying to involve yourself in their lives too quickly or too aggressively may have the adverse reaction of pushing your date away as he tries to cope with his feelings and help his children cope with theirs.
If you sense that your partner needs time alone, give him that time. Give your new partner the freedom to dictate how the relationship will progress, including when and how you will interact with his children.